Limited vocabulary

I've just realised that when I'm speaking about things I tend to begin ever sentence with 'so' or 'but'. I could be imagining this, or I'm developing senile dementia...but....

Pre new years resolution Number 2

Buy more jumpers and a proper winter coat. I've just got back home and it's around -5 outside. My hands and ears are now glowing red and I think I might have lost a foot to frostbite. And its not even December.

Pre new year's resolution Number 1

Must meet more people and get out more

Changing seasons

Only a few weeks ago I was walking around in a t-shirt. Now I need a t-shirt, a thick jumper and a coat. And I'm still freezing! Winter is certainly coming and its going to be rather cold. 3 degrees today and its falling all the time. Now where did I put my thermals......

Different perspectives

I got in a car tonight with someone who had just drunk several beers. Over the limit (whatever that is here)? Quite possibly. In the UK I would have refused to get in the car. But here I did. Ok, he was my boss, but does that make any difference? Strange how so many people drink and drive here. The whole attitude is completely different. Not in a good way I think. Anyway I got a train home and felt much happier with that. Assuming the driver wasn't pissed of course.

Memories

I wake up with the memory. At work I feel it bursting to get out. Returning home it overwhelms me. When I sleep it consumes me. I want to forget but I can't let it go.

Humility

Am currently reading Primo Levi's 'The Truce' and am amazed by his humility. After enduring horrors beyond description he still manages to describe his long journey home in such a beautiful way and without any bitterness towards the lot that was given him.

Sobering, but uplifting at the same time.

A world without borders (well kind of)

I've recently started posting some photos on Flickr and I am amazed. Some very nice comments from people I hold very dear (you know who you are!) and now some comments from some random strangers from cyberspace. What a wonderful thing!

Getting more serious

This is a departure from the usual drivel I write here, but anyway I actually feel like writing something serious tonight.

This afternoon, my elected government in the UK wanted to introduce new anti-terror legislation that would involve locking people up for 90 days without charge. Their argument was simple: "The police want this power" and thus we should give it to them. Despite the fact that most people in the country would (some of us grudgingly) accept the need to increase the current limit from 14 days, the government decided against any form of compromise with those in parliament who opposed such a massive 6-fold increase.

They gambled on being able to steam roller others, to scare us, on the power of the tabloid press.

They lost. And that makes me feel slightly less depressed about the state of my country's democracy.

By increasing the current level from 14 days we are agreeing to give up some of our hard fought civil liberties. We should reflect, with sadness, on that. So this isn't a moment of victory of any sort. But it does show that sometimes the powers that be don't always get their way, and I'll sleep slightly better tonight knowing that.

Awkward moments by the kettle

This is happening ever more regularly now, but various work colleagues are asking me, invariably in the kitchen, the same question 'How is your partner getting on?'

An awkward silence then follows when I add the word 'ex' to 'partner' and the conversation quickly changes topic.

Perhaps I need to stand on my desk and shout at the top of my voice 'I AM NOW SINGLE' to make sure everyone knows...

Boring service announcement

A new 'exciting' feature to this very 'exciting' blog are my extremely 'exciting' pictures on Flickr. Lord Litchfield I am certainly not....

Memory of a strange dream

I'm on the top floor of a double decker bus with my mother and my long dead cat. Someone opens a window and the cat decides to jump out. It leaps out and lands on the pavement by a shop. I run down stairs and ask the driver to stop. He says "in a minute, I'm almost at the next stop". The dream merges into another and I never find out what happened next.

I'm sure this has some very deep meaning about my life at the moment, but I'm buggered if I can work out what.

Answers on a postcard please to the usual address.

Frustration

There is one thing I want right now more than anything. But it's the one thing I know I can't have. A phone call this morning brings it all back. A voice I am so happy to hear, but it brings the realisation to me once again.

My pendulum style mood takes another swing.

Sand between my toes

Shoes and socks off and there is still sand between my toes. Chatting on the beach and watching the world go by, that's the way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Now back to cold and rain.

Bugger.

View from a golden bus

We move across London, jumping up and down. People look and stare in bewilderment.

Have they never seen a large golden bus before?

Then something magical happens, one person smiles. They make a joke to their companion, another smile. Then other person catches sight of us and does the same. Office workers in suits, shoppers with their wares. Security guards guarding nondescript buildings.

Happiness through the scratched glass.

Up

The clock beats, my mood changes once again. Cuckoo.

Down

Strange. One day I'm up, happy and feel like I'm dealing with things. The next I'm down and dwelling on the past. A weird dream last night has brought things back and I miss her terribly. I want to write or call, but I know that won't help. A sense of utter powerlessness has come over me. I've led most of my life feeling in control of things, but now I'm like a sail ship without a decent wind. Drifting along until I hit dry land. Where ever it may be, I just hope it is sunny....

Ouch

24 hours later and my head has finally recovered. I should vow never to drink again but I would be lying completely.

Civilasation

Wow... I've finally found a bar here which I actually like. It's only Monday but my week feels complete. Great bar (a la Foundry), fantastic gig and some nice people as well. The inevitable hangover tomorrow may put a dent on things but I'm still pissed so that doesn't matter right now.... I will regret this tomorrow however...

Mystery benefactor

Someone unknown has just put a sum of money into my bank account. Am I becoming an unwitting pawn in international drug running or some other nefarious activity? Does a life of crime await me followed by some time at her Majesty's pleasure?

When I am arrested all I can say is I know nothing.... but I would say that wouldn't I?