When victory honks its horn

Another win and the cars erupt once again. Horns blare, flags fly and drivers and passengers cheer. Italy this time, who seem to have much fewer local fans than Portugal (clear leaders, especially with last night drumming), Brazil (runners up) and Spain in the celebratory noise championship. But they give it a good go regardless. Well done them.

The beautiful game?

I decide not to watch it as a timid act of defiance, so I force myself to read a book instead. But then the chapter ends and the remote calls me, gives me a sly wink and say 'go on, just for a minute, what harm will it do?'. So my resolve crumbles and I turn it on, just to check the score of course. And then I revert to type, asking myself approximately 70 minutes later the only possible question, why? Is it the unusual atmosphere, the lack of pissed people surrounding me, is it the hot weather that keeps my fan on overdrive? Or am I just restless for something to happen, something, anything?

Words of wisdom

When a man is wrestling a leopard in a middle of a pond he is in no position to run.

R.I.P.

My camera is dead and I am blind once again. It was not even a year old but it had enough. So no more photos of flowers, my feet or my pet gnome. No more posting to Flickr, no more attempts to capture that perfect ray of light. I mourn its passing and secretly hope that unknown forces can bring it back to life...

Summer

Its a glorious day and I'm sitting inside typing this. There is a word for people like me, but I can't quite remember it... ho hum

Curve

It is proving slightly steeper than I might have hoped. One minute up and the next thing you know, you're down again. Emotions taking control and reality taking an unwelcome leave of absence. I feel I'm on a crash course, but someone has nicked my helmet...

Silence

Some say that silence is golden, but there are times when it really isn't. I want it to be broken, but it looks increasingly unlikely. So back to the drawing board for me....

Memory block

I sit down to write something important and then it is immediately lost. The keys make their distinctive sound as my fingers glide over them trying to make sense out of the jumble sale which is my brain at present. I type one thing but, no, that wasn't it. I delete, write again then delete once more. What am I trying to say?? The purpose of this post eludes me......

New horizons or false dawns

Rain. Closed bars. Open bar. Drink. Food. Conversation. Laughter. Goodbyes.

And now the waiting begins....

A little mystery

An email in my inbox from a cell phone in the UK. Yet no message is contained within.

17 May

What was once a special day is now just like any other. You get up in the morning, you sleep in the evening. And everything in-between is up to you....

A slight problem

The weather is great, the sun is out and I decide to wear sandals in my office. Only then do I remember that my toenails have a somewhat distinctive appearance after the weekend. So I have to decide whether to show my new fangled look with pride. There is only one option really.

The only question now is what colour goes best with purple?

Breakfast

Almost 12 hours later and I'm still digesting....but boy, was it tasty!! My compliments to the chef.

Adventures in Euroland

The heart of European democracy, the centre of an evil empire threatening to engulf our continent or just a really nice place with great food and beer? Take your pick, but I've kind of made my mind up.

Confusion

How do I feel and what do I want? These are the questions of the day. To which I could add how should I act, what do I say and when do I say it. Answers on a postcard please to the usual address

Song for the day

Two Gunslingers by Tom Petty.. 'And one said I don’t wanna fight no more'

Dunce

I sit in the classroom and desperately want to be at the back of the class, behind all the bright kids who will answer all the questions. The problem now is that I am the only student.

Method in madness

I think I might have hit the nail on the head. I used to believe in happy endings, fairy tales, where good always triumphed, where the bad guy always got his comeuppance (usually in a rather nasty – but somehow comical – way) and where the nerdy guy with the terrible haircut always got the girl. Then reality happened. Life is somewhat more complicated than a movie script and my dreams and illusions shattered over night.

So for while, I gave up entirely. I looked upon life as a series of cold episodes. And I tried to come to terms with my life and where it had taken me. Yet, with all of this I wasn't able to find anything. Just more questions, more 'what if's that didn’t lead me anywhere I wanted to go.

But something in recent months has begun to change. What I don’t quite know. Perhaps it was Audrey Hepburn looking down at me, who knows? The realisation that not everything needs to change, at least not right now. So now I’m beginning to dream again. Not so naively this time, but dreaming I am.

A painful personal admission

I have an embarrassing admission to make. Its painful but I have to admit that I have a problem. I can't hide it away any longer. I need to face it and find the help I need.

I'm addicted to crap movies. Really bad ones. Think of a truly terrible movie, probably a romantic comedy that is neither romantic or comedic, and its one of those. I just can't help myself. I've tried abstinence and it didn't work. I've tried watching thoughtful, intelligent movies to wane me of my habit, but no joy. I just can’t help myself.

It’s not a new problem. I’ve had it before (Overboard with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn – a truly underrated masterpiece of modern cinema) but I thought it had gone away. Several years of watching (mostly) great films, films with meaning and purpose, some even with sub-titles, lulled me into a false sense of security. But at a moment of personal weakness my curse resurfaced. And its now getting out of control. The choice of Raging Bull or Freaky Friday (guess which won?) has made me realise how deep the problem is.

I need help, urgently.

Jesus fucking Christ

What kind of shit have I got myself into? I've just found out that the organization I work for has a 'partner' in the US going by the name of Halliburton. Yes, that Halliburton. The same company with rather cosy links to the Bush administration, the 'reconstruction' of Iraq and more dodgy deals than you can shake a stick at. I've sold my soul to Satan and he's now pissing on me from a great height. I blame the wrestlers of course.