Communication breakdown

Strange. With all the technology available to us, we seem to be getting worse at talking to each other. Most people these days have a phone, email, the whole works. Yet what do we actually talk about? Is it just me or is it that much harder to express certain things using such impersonal tools? I've being doing a lot of talking via email, text message and instant message of late, but I always walk away thinking I have missed something. That feeling of seeing someone's reaction to the things you say, the spark that can fly when a conversation really takes off. Instead I seem to have fragments. A thought here, another there. Many things said, but somehow incomplete.

A new day

Waking up, the snow has all but disappeared leaving only a few specks of white by the roadside. As a look out of my window I see people all wrapped up going about their daily lives, rushing back and forth from one place to another, oblivious to my presence.

Now there is only one day left in 2005, less than twenty four hours before a new year begins. Looking back the year has been momentous for me in so many ways, some good, some bad, but things have certainly changed. The question now is what does 2006 hold?

Snow under foot

After several hours the snow stops, leaving a cold winter landscape behind it. You could describe the scene in many words, but beauty seems to be the most appropriate. But now the snow begins to melt, leaving only slush behind. Where, just a few hours ago there was beauty, now there is nothing but a moment in time slowing melting away.

A moment

Last night I almost did something. Nothing bad I don't think, perhaps even something good. But I didn't do it. I wanted to, but for some reason I couldn't. Now the moment is just a memory, slowly fading into the past.

Love Poem

Beyond watching eyes
with sweet and tender kisses
Our souls reached out to each other
In breathless wonder

And when I awoke
From a vast and smiling peace
I found you bathed in morning light
Quietly studying
All the messages on my phone

Source: Banksy

Sadly, I've been guilty of this of late (slightly different context but the same intent). All I can say is sorry.

Post Christmas observation number 1

In my Christmas card from my brother I was amazed at the sign off. Instead of the traditional 'From Phil' this year I had 'Love, Phil'.

I would have almost fallen off my chair, if I had been sitting on one at the time. After 32 years, my brother is transforming into someone else. What is next? Taking up yoga and preaching the benefits of free love?

In any case, I'm happy. He's happy at last and there is nothing wrong with that.

Voices behind bars

Whilst doing the normal Christmas thing today I remembered an article I read in the Guardian a couple of days ago, on prisoners writing poetry. Reading their poems, I see a particular resonance in their words, especially at this time of the year - a time when you take so many things for granted; your family around you, your friends, food on your table, and above all, your freedom.

At the same time, it is deeply depressing to realise that so many people are denied these things and that much of society is happy to throw away the key and let them rot for all eternity. I'm not religious, but it seems many people who claim to be Christian, don't seem to practice that very Christian act of forgiveness. Perhaps even worse, people seem so stupid not to realise that just locking people up doesn't solve the underlying reasons why they committed crime in the first place.

Hopefully if people read poems like these, they might change their narrow views at least a little bit, but I hardly think the Daily Mail will be in a rush to publish them.

Words but no sound

Conversation moves from one topic to another, long forgotten names from the past are mentioned. But all I see are the moving lips. The sound does not reach my ears. The substance is lost on me. Instead I read and allow my mind to wonder.

Fear of change or rather the fear of not changing

Wondering around Bristol over the last day or so, talking to my friends and family, has made me realise a few things. If I was to sum up my state of mind at present I would say I'm scared. Scared of what happens next in my life. Before I thought this was a fear of change, part of me resisting and wanting to revert back to the old me. But the more I think about it, the more I think that the fear is that of not changing. I know what I am like, I know there may be a natural slide back to the old ways. I just have to resist.

Bristol

I'm back with my parents and things haven't changed since the last time I was here, or probably for as long as I can remember. At least things haven't changed with them. So I'm being treated like a child once again, am being made endless cups of tea and being generally well looked after.

The problem is that I think I have changed in recent months. Whereas once I would have been content to let things carry on as normal, now I'm not so sure. Part of me is finding it suffocating just being here. I want to be having real conversations about real things, something that my family doesn't excel at. I really see where my lack of communication comes from. I feel guilty about saying all this, but it is true.

Of course, I want to be somewhere else, with someone else. But I know that isn't possible and that it wouldn't be a good idea even if it was. But that doesn't make the feeling any less real. I feel guilt about saying this as well, but I know I need to say it.

So instead I sit here, writing this. Another 'random' thought from me. I'm not totally sure why I write these things, but it allows me to say things that I find harder to speak. I've now just got to build up courage to start saying them out loud as well.

Home is where the heart is

Strange. I'm now back in London and things feel so different.

Where once this was my home and I felt so natural here, now it feels so different. I've met some friends already, had a nice beer, done the usual stuff. And more will follow over the coming days. There are so many people here I want to see, people who I have missed over the last few months. A chance encounter on the street brings it back. I'm told about how a close friend is getting on and I realise that it is all news to me. To be honest I haven't been very good at keeping in touch. And that is something I regret.

But there is still else, something deeper, amiss. 6 months may not be a long time in the grand scheme of things but in a city like this it is an eternity. New bars have replaced old ones, new building have sprung out of nowhere.

I now feel like a stranger here. Almost like the first time I came here with my parents many, many years ago. I would stare at the buildings, all the people and the sheer size of the place. Only now I am a little bit taller.

Has London changed or is the change actually within me?

Departure

Goodbyes said, bags packed, passport ready.

I'm coming home.

Moments

A moment by the door, then in the lift, finally at the station. Feelings rushing through me. Happiness, fear, desire, confusion. What do they mean and where do they lead us? We will see, but I don't regret any of them.

Exotic places

Cape Town, New York, Johannesburg... the places roll off the tongue so easily. Escapism from a cold grey day in Geneva. Instead I have London tomorrow...not as exotic I know but it's home.

Pint anyone?

The long goodbye

Less than 4 hours remaining now.. my heart beats in tune with the ticking clock.

Touch

Being English I've got used to a lack of physical contact in my life. When it happens it is often either forced or formal. A firm hand shack is about as close as it gets. Perhaps my Englishness is an excuse (I think it is) but I'm really missing those moments of contact. With those you love and those whose paths you cross. Walking down a street and slowing taking a hand in yours. A gentle touch on the shoulder to show you care. Feet just lying there waiting to be tickled. A cuddle to signify the warmth you feel. The sense of another breath as it comes into contact with your skin. An embrace. A kiss... those endless moments when you cease to be one and become something more.

The view

I try not to look, to stare. That would be too obvious. Instead I catch a glimpse, a fleeting sideways look. That is allowed I think. And then I smile. Again, I try to keep it to myself. This isn't a normal situation. I have to let things happen in their own time. See where they take me.

Do I succeed? I'm not the person to ask.

Fleeting moments

The clock is ticking on our time together. A long pause approaches and I'm scared. I want to stop the clock so that these moments don't end.

Conversations

There was an old advert for British Telecom featuring Professor Stephen Hawkings in which he says, via his computerised voice, 'It's good to talk'. I kind of took this for granted, but of late I've begun to appreciate it's true meaning. For so much of the time in our lives we don't talk, or at least don't talk about the things that really matter. I know I've been very guilty of this. My conversations would be about the banal, everyday events of life; sport, television, work, flats. You know, the usual. In fact I'd talk about lots of things, except the one thing I really should have been discussing: feelings. Of late, this has changed, and now I want to explore my inner thoughts, my desires, where my life if going and where I want it to go. And I feel much better for that.

Last night it continued. I said some things that I'm glad I said. I don't know what the outcome will be, but whatever happens I don't regret what I said. I'm being honest and I think that is well overdue.

Consumerism

Hundreds, if not thousands, of people scurry around me like ants. Old and young, men and women, of every nationality, colour and background. The working week is over (for most) and now time to savour the life that we have. Yet where do we go? What holds our fascination and transfixes us like a hypnotist's watch? Shopping.

I merge into the crowd, becoming just another ant. Old books, brand new washing machines, potted plants, oriental artifacts, clothes accessories, pay to have your picture taken with 'father Christmas'. Signs everywhere, all with the same message 'Buy, buy, buy'. And the underlying, message is, of course, buy me and you will be happy. You think happiness is gained by love, companionship, being at peace with yourself and others? How quaint! Happiness is gained by spending your money, buying things you don't need or want. Buy that DVD and you are happy, buy that picture and you are joyful, buy that sofa and you are on the verge of transcending this plane of existence and finding nirvana.

If religion is the opium of the masses, then consumerism must be the crack cocaine. And we are all serious addicts who can't get off the stuff.

In short, we're fucked.

Questions

Who? What? When? How? Why?

Questions flowing through my brain. Now looking for answers....

tests

I breathe into a glass. Then again.

I am given a tablet and an acidic glass of water. I wait.

I breathe into another glass. Then again.

I wait...

Fitness (or lack of)

A gentle game of squash yesterday is now resulting in pain all over. Getting off the train this evening, I resembled a 80 year old, grasping for the hand rail to help myself down onto the platform. I didn't think that getting fit was this much work....

Waiting

I sit, I wait. Email ready. I want to click send. But is that a good idea? Does it help? Questions, questions but no answers at present. The wait continues....

Ho hum

Human interaction is rather under rated. You take it for granted. Then, when you don't have it, you start acting a little bit different. For me its endless cleaning, re-arranging furniture, writing (and then rewriting) long lists of things you really ought to do. Reading the crap that's put in my letter box as if it was Shakespeare (maybe it is, if only I could understand it). Talking to myself (ok I admit it).

The email suddenly flashes, excitement peaks, then deflates when you realize that President Abacha's son is offering me money again. That boy just won't give up.....

Diet changes

Milk. Out
Other diary products. Out
Tomatoes. Out
Fresh bread. Out
Oranges. Out
Spicy food. Out
Fatty food. Out

What the hell I meant to eat then? Thank god they said I can still drink....

Health food here I come!

Bored

..not much to add really.

House (or rather flat) or a home

5 years ago I knew I wanted things in life. I was sharing a flat with 3 other people (+ their friends, boy friends, girl friends, random strangers and mad Italian ex-girlfriends) and the place was so claustrophobic. I didn't have any space to think, the place was a dump and the walls were made of card board. At that moment I wanted my own place more than anything. Somewhere just for me, where I didn't need to interact with other people, clean up after them or be forced to sit through Bridget Jones for the 10th time.

Fast forward to today and I have a lovely flat, where I can do what ever the hell I want. If I had been offered this then, I would have jumped at it.

But now I want something else! People, the conversation, the surreal (generally alcohol induced) moments. The embarrassed looks from other flat mates when you walk out of the wrong bed room in the morning. Those simple interactions which you so take for granted, and which you only notice when they are gone.

Typical of human nature really, you get something you want and then you want something else. Why can't we just be happy with what we have....

Change of scenery

Paris. Friends. Lots of red wine. Raclette. Lots of white wine. Conversation flowing.

Geneva. Silence.

What next?

My flat is empty once again, which feels really weird. Despite the pain I've actually enjoyed the last few days. They have made me realise so many things and enabled me to say thoughts that I had bottled inside me for a long time.

So now I know I need to start changing some things. Not sure what that means about my job and my life here however. Maybe this blog may soon change to 'Random thoughts from Timbuktu' or something. No rush decisions of course. Lets just wait and see what happens.

In the meantime I need to start small. Seriously learning French, learning to cook, getting out more, trying out new things (even dancing perhaps - oh the horror!) and enjoying my life.

OK, OK

My post from yesterday was perhaps a way bit optimistic, but the general message was true. Today didn't feel that much different (aside from the new addition of a table football table next to my desk at work...but that's another story). I was happy, I was sad, I was half asleep during a pointless meeting. So the usual.

But we talked more this evening. Conversation seems to be flowing, in a way that it never did during our time together. That makes me sad on one level, but I'm so happy that at least we finally managed to be open with one another. I'm surprising myself to be honest. Admitting things that were previously hidden, even from myself. I love Emilie and I always will, but I'm now learning to love her as a friend.

In the end I'm very lucky. I have friends and family watching me and I'm sure they will help me on my way.

Closure

Silence broken. Tears flow, especially from me. Glasses smashed. Red wine stains now all over the sofa.

An interesting evening followed by a great day. Tears of joy whilst walking together. Knowledge that these are fleeting, final, moments.

Back home. More conversation. Some hard truths. Some hurtful realities. More tears (mostly from me again - it takes me years to cry like this, so I'm making up for lost time)

I now know where I stand and can see the future ahead. I'm scared, lost and unsure of what to do next. But there is only one direction. Forwards.

Too simple? Perhaps. Have my feelings changed? No. Will the coming days and weeks hurt? Definitely.

But I can no longer hide behind if, buts and maybes. There are no magic wands to be found and when I wake up tomorrow things will be the same as they are now.

But for the first time in weeks I think that's ok. But then again, maybe you should and see what I post tomorrow........

Silence

Two people, one flat, much to say, but neither willing to start. Lots of tea, papers, polite chit chat. But nothing more. A bizarre version of how things used to be. But now of course, they are completely different. It is strange for both of them, odd in the oddest sense of the word.

Which one of the two will be the first to open their mouths? Who knows. Maybe there isn't much to say after all. The silence perhaps speaks for itself.

D Day

A certain someone returns to my life today (albeit briefly). Not sure how I am going to react - happy, sad, angry, ambivalent, combination of all. Who knows?

So here I wait.

Limited vocabulary

I've just realised that when I'm speaking about things I tend to begin ever sentence with 'so' or 'but'. I could be imagining this, or I'm developing senile dementia...but....

Pre new years resolution Number 2

Buy more jumpers and a proper winter coat. I've just got back home and it's around -5 outside. My hands and ears are now glowing red and I think I might have lost a foot to frostbite. And its not even December.

Pre new year's resolution Number 1

Must meet more people and get out more

Changing seasons

Only a few weeks ago I was walking around in a t-shirt. Now I need a t-shirt, a thick jumper and a coat. And I'm still freezing! Winter is certainly coming and its going to be rather cold. 3 degrees today and its falling all the time. Now where did I put my thermals......

Different perspectives

I got in a car tonight with someone who had just drunk several beers. Over the limit (whatever that is here)? Quite possibly. In the UK I would have refused to get in the car. But here I did. Ok, he was my boss, but does that make any difference? Strange how so many people drink and drive here. The whole attitude is completely different. Not in a good way I think. Anyway I got a train home and felt much happier with that. Assuming the driver wasn't pissed of course.

Memories

I wake up with the memory. At work I feel it bursting to get out. Returning home it overwhelms me. When I sleep it consumes me. I want to forget but I can't let it go.

Humility

Am currently reading Primo Levi's 'The Truce' and am amazed by his humility. After enduring horrors beyond description he still manages to describe his long journey home in such a beautiful way and without any bitterness towards the lot that was given him.

Sobering, but uplifting at the same time.

A world without borders (well kind of)

I've recently started posting some photos on Flickr and I am amazed. Some very nice comments from people I hold very dear (you know who you are!) and now some comments from some random strangers from cyberspace. What a wonderful thing!

Getting more serious

This is a departure from the usual drivel I write here, but anyway I actually feel like writing something serious tonight.

This afternoon, my elected government in the UK wanted to introduce new anti-terror legislation that would involve locking people up for 90 days without charge. Their argument was simple: "The police want this power" and thus we should give it to them. Despite the fact that most people in the country would (some of us grudgingly) accept the need to increase the current limit from 14 days, the government decided against any form of compromise with those in parliament who opposed such a massive 6-fold increase.

They gambled on being able to steam roller others, to scare us, on the power of the tabloid press.

They lost. And that makes me feel slightly less depressed about the state of my country's democracy.

By increasing the current level from 14 days we are agreeing to give up some of our hard fought civil liberties. We should reflect, with sadness, on that. So this isn't a moment of victory of any sort. But it does show that sometimes the powers that be don't always get their way, and I'll sleep slightly better tonight knowing that.

Awkward moments by the kettle

This is happening ever more regularly now, but various work colleagues are asking me, invariably in the kitchen, the same question 'How is your partner getting on?'

An awkward silence then follows when I add the word 'ex' to 'partner' and the conversation quickly changes topic.

Perhaps I need to stand on my desk and shout at the top of my voice 'I AM NOW SINGLE' to make sure everyone knows...

Boring service announcement

A new 'exciting' feature to this very 'exciting' blog are my extremely 'exciting' pictures on Flickr. Lord Litchfield I am certainly not....

Memory of a strange dream

I'm on the top floor of a double decker bus with my mother and my long dead cat. Someone opens a window and the cat decides to jump out. It leaps out and lands on the pavement by a shop. I run down stairs and ask the driver to stop. He says "in a minute, I'm almost at the next stop". The dream merges into another and I never find out what happened next.

I'm sure this has some very deep meaning about my life at the moment, but I'm buggered if I can work out what.

Answers on a postcard please to the usual address.

Frustration

There is one thing I want right now more than anything. But it's the one thing I know I can't have. A phone call this morning brings it all back. A voice I am so happy to hear, but it brings the realisation to me once again.

My pendulum style mood takes another swing.

Sand between my toes

Shoes and socks off and there is still sand between my toes. Chatting on the beach and watching the world go by, that's the way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Now back to cold and rain.

Bugger.

View from a golden bus

We move across London, jumping up and down. People look and stare in bewilderment.

Have they never seen a large golden bus before?

Then something magical happens, one person smiles. They make a joke to their companion, another smile. Then other person catches sight of us and does the same. Office workers in suits, shoppers with their wares. Security guards guarding nondescript buildings.

Happiness through the scratched glass.

Up

The clock beats, my mood changes once again. Cuckoo.

Down

Strange. One day I'm up, happy and feel like I'm dealing with things. The next I'm down and dwelling on the past. A weird dream last night has brought things back and I miss her terribly. I want to write or call, but I know that won't help. A sense of utter powerlessness has come over me. I've led most of my life feeling in control of things, but now I'm like a sail ship without a decent wind. Drifting along until I hit dry land. Where ever it may be, I just hope it is sunny....

Ouch

24 hours later and my head has finally recovered. I should vow never to drink again but I would be lying completely.

Civilasation

Wow... I've finally found a bar here which I actually like. It's only Monday but my week feels complete. Great bar (a la Foundry), fantastic gig and some nice people as well. The inevitable hangover tomorrow may put a dent on things but I'm still pissed so that doesn't matter right now.... I will regret this tomorrow however...

Mystery benefactor

Someone unknown has just put a sum of money into my bank account. Am I becoming an unwitting pawn in international drug running or some other nefarious activity? Does a life of crime await me followed by some time at her Majesty's pleasure?

When I am arrested all I can say is I know nothing.... but I would say that wouldn't I?

Il pleut

It's cold, raining and it's still really dark when I wake up in the morning.

So there is only one answer to my Autumn/Winter blues... a nice cup of tea. Hmmmm.. magic, I feel better already!

Parlez vous anglais?

J'ai une petite probleme. J'habite en un pays que le langue est français et je ne parle pas bien.

Alors, le premier question est 'Vous parlez anglais'. Quand le réponse est 'Oui' je suis tres content, mais quand le réponse est 'Non', je suis 'buggered'!

Dans ma ecole j'ai appris français que n'est pas utile pour ma vie ici. Je sais a parler 'Where is the train station' et 'John Phillipe likes playing babyfoot' mais pas les mots pour 'my central heating is not quite working and i think I have air in the pipes' !!!

Alors je suis un étudiant de nouveau.....

First realisation of being single again..

...I really need to learn how to cook!! No one will be impressed with my one pasta dish (which you would never believe, involves tomatoes). I cooked it tonight and it isn't really a crowd pleaser.

So time to get the apron out and start trying something new.

Suggestions welcome!

Some good news! About bloody time...

Blood sugar levels are down, the drugs are working, regular insulin injections (always hard for someone who is afraid of needles) hopefully not now needed. Not me, but someone I care for very deeply and who has always been there for me.

So the first piece of bad news from this week looks like it will turn out ok. Same probably can't be said for the rest, but I'm actually happy for the first time in a week!!

I would start singing now but for two minor points:

a) my singing voice is terrible and probably contravenes the Geneva convention
b) you wouldn't get it stereo on the blog

come to think of it... Ignore a) my voice is amazing and I am seriously thinking of taking it up professionally.

'There may be sunshine....' voice drowns into cyber space

This is hard

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I'm not handling things very well to be honest. I've discovered a side of me that I didn't think existed and that is taking some getting used to. Everywhere I look I see memories and we're not able to sit down together (slight problem of several thousand miles between us) to discuss what has happened and what will happen next. Part of me thinks I should accept things, move on, but another part finds that hard. Giving up on several happy years, perhaps the happiest of my life that I thought would go on for many more, is not very easy

Lots of conflicting emotions; love, hate, fear, all swirling around inside me. And as our American friends say, I haven't yet found closure.

I'll be ok, things will clear and I'll decide what a want to do with my life. But it may take a while...

We all soldier on.

Clear open skies

A decision has been made, so a new era begins for me. My assumptions about my future and my life here will now need to radically change. Where there was once two, there is now just one. All so sudden, yet perhaps not as we both knew we were living on borrowed time. If I am given the chance, would I go back? Of course, and I still have some hope. But the realist within me has its doubts. Perhaps time will bring things into focus and we will decide to try again. Who knows...

So here I am, looking out onto a beautiful blue sky. Time to head back soon to Geneva, my home, and see what my future holds...

Words for the wise

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

I promise to start writing happier entries, but its hard...

..just pulled into an all staff meeting where they announced a colleague had passed away. I didn't know him, but you could tell he was much loved, by the tears in people's eyes and the way they spoke. He died on holiday with his family. My thoughts are with them....

Change is in the air

The crossroads comes ever closer, or maybe it is a T junction after all, as going straight ahead as before doesn't seem possible.

I've just had some beers, watched some football (I'm sorry, I am a bloke after all) and things seem better, or maybe I am just a bit pissed so have forgotten about things. In any case they are for tomorrow...

So good night all, sweet dreams, don't let the bed bugs bite, and fingers crossed tomorrow it won't be raining...

P.S. apologies for the Leonard Cohen in an earlier post... god his songs are depressing...

Approaching a crossroads

Decisions, decisions.. I usually try and avoid them, but I don't think that is going to work this time. Things have changed and other things are changing. The question is how I change with them. I'm approaching a cross roads and I need to decide which direction I take....

Oh teachers are my lessons done?

I met a woman long ago
her hair the black that black can go,
Are you a teacher of the heart?
Soft she answered no.

I met a girl across the sea,
her hair the gold that gold can be,
Are you a teacher of the heart?
Yes, but not for thee.

I met a man who lost his mind
in some lost place I had to find,
follow me the wise man said,
but he walked behind.

I walked into a hospital
where none was sick and none was well,
when at night the nurses left
I could not walk at all.

Morning came and then came noon,
dinner time a scalpel blade
lay beside my silver spoon.

Some girls wander by mistake
into the mess that scalpels make.
Are you the teachers of my heart?
We teach old hearts to break.

One morning I woke up alone,
the hospital and the nurses gone.
Have I carved enough my Lord?
Child, you are a bone.

I ate and ate and ate,
no I did not miss a plate, well
How much do these suppers cost?
We'll take it out in hate.

I spent my hatred everyplace,
on every work on every face,
someone gave me wishes
and I wished for an embrace.

Several girls embraced me, then
I was embraced by men,
Is my passion perfect?
No, do it once again.

I was handsome I was strong,
I knew the words of every song.
Did my singing please you?
No, the words you sang were wrong.

Who is it whom I address,
who takes down what I confess?
Are you the teachers of my heart?
We teach old hearts to rest.

Oh teachers are my lessons done?
I cannot do another one.
They laughed and laughed and said, Well child,
are your lessons done?
are your lessons done?
are your lessons done?

By Leonard Cohen

The passage of time

Tears from a parent, the reality of old age hits me. There is no magic wand, it will not somehow 'get better'. It's a road we all travel down, whether we like it or not, and we all know where the journey ends even if we try to deny it. We all just have to deal with it the best way we can.

A milestone for me in a few months, yet it seems like only yesterday when I was still a child. But look forward I must, not back. No more reminiscing about times gone by, friendships faded or lost.

What does the future hold for me? Only time will tell...

Straight out of the sauna

Just back from a weekend in Helsinki visiting friends. I last visited back in 2000 and, to be honest, didn't think much of the place (cold, rather boring). This time round I loved it... strange how our tastes change over time. What was then boring is now refreshing and relaxed - a great place to live I think, in a city but so close to the sea, forests and all the accompanying wildlife. And the saunas? Well let's just say that as soon as my plane home took off, I wanted to go back. Another day perhaps....

Pims anyone?

Just saw Great Britain get stuffed by Switzerland in the Davis Cup here in Geneva. The Swiss had won the tie already so today's games were rather meaningless, but the plucky Brits did their bit and lost the final games as well:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/tennis/4280154.stm

Not quite Wimbledon but a nice change from the sofa.... speaking of which, I think it missing me so I better return to it..

Who's a naughty boy then?

Am writing this from work so will be probably get deported if someone finds out.. if I don't post anything for a while, expect the worst!

Have lots to do but I've hit that mid afternoon "I can't be bothered" feeling, so I obviously need a break. I was a bit down yesterday (not a great work day and Emilie has gone away for 2 months) but felt much better this morning, looking at the world from my train carrage. It is such a nice place to live and work (lake, mountains, open fields and vineyards) that I can't describe it. Such a pleasant change from working in Old Street!

Take your pick: Old Street OR Lake Geneva

Ok, not a totally fair comparison, but you get the point!

Have decided to buy a new digital camera so I can start posting some pictures here.

Right, back to the grind stone I guess...

Ta for now...

I have been told....

Ok..hands up who is a very bad blogger? ME....

I've been gently reminded of my blogging duty so I promise to all that I will start posting things regularly.

Now repeat 100 times... I will update my blog, I will update my blog, I will update my blog, I will update my blog, I will update my blog....

Thanks to H for the gentle prodding.. now back to class.

The bizarre case of the menacing hotdog stand...

Back from a weekend in London catching up with friends.... So little time to see even a few people. More changes since I have been away... former AI colleagues leaving, lots of gossip .. but still the same feeling when ever I am there....

......and of course talking complete bollocks in the pub with old friends never changes..... which brings me to the hotdog stand! Let's just say the next time you run for a bus in London, beware menacing hotdog sellers who stand in the middle of the pavement... MAN RUNNING TO BUS + HOTDOG SELLER AND METAL HOTDOG STAND = CRASH, BANG and facial injuries.

How personal is a blog?

I had a comment today that my writing thoughts in a blog was very unlike me. I guess it is true, normally I don't express my thoughts publicly. But hey, there is always a first time!!

The main difference seems to be that I'm writing this for myself more than for anyone else. I get a good feeling just writing these words now... not sure why..maybe because I don't have to go over them again and again (as I have to in my job) to ensure they are correct etc. Here I can just type any old bollocks (and that it is) without any worry!

Maybe it's just a fad and I will forgot about the whole thing (I am rather lazy after all) but maybe not...only time will tell!

Now back to work!!

A quiet day in a quiet place...

Not much to report. Emilie headed back to London yesterday so I have the city to myself!

It's so different to London.. So few people (only 200,000 if I'm correct) and so much more laid back. Traveling to work in the morning is surreal in comparison. No crowded buses or tubes, smelling people's armpits and reading their paper over their shoulders! Instead a ride on a super efficient (of course) Swiss Train with only a hand full of other passengers. Strange seeing open green fields instead of Newington Green and a lake Geneva in place of the small fountain on Islington Green!

Back to the big smoke on Thursday however to catch up with friends and, just perhaps, have a swift half in a local drinking establishment!

Over and out....

A burst of inspiration

After talking on messenger with a very good friend I feel a lot more inspired to write something! She has also just started her own blog (http://ladelentes.blogspot.com) and as you can see it is slightly better than this one. So quick tip... go to her blog instead!!!!

I have also just started using Gaim as my messenger client instead of MSN. It's a great tool (supports MSN, Yahoo, blah, blah) and open source to boot. Try it out at:

http://gaim.sourceforge.net/

Ta for now!

David

Bored

Saturday afternoon in Geneva and not much going on. One of those days when you can't be bothered to do anything. I really am a lazy sod!

Can this blog get any less exciting? At this point it is probably best to abandon all hope....

Ok, here we go....

My first blog and my first post. And guess what? I can't think of a damn thing to write...typical!

Hopefully things will get better after this point..